


Mean Streaking

by ChatRWBYlette



Category: RWBY
Genre: Embarrassment, Gen, Nudity, enf, euf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 09:48:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8244880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChatRWBYlette/pseuds/ChatRWBYlette
Summary: Everyone feeds their mean streak sometimes. When the students at Beacon Academy begin pranking each other and clothes start disappearing, no one's dignity is safe. A naughty story focused on embarrassment, humiliation and general debauchery. Also, Roman builds a casino.Currently ON HIATUS and being retooled as a CYOA on another site.





	1. No Happy Endings

**Author's Note:**

> Remember when I said I'd be redoing a particularly mean-spirited chapter of "Cheesecake" in a different series? Well, you've found it. Now that I've figured out how to write happy stories with all my best writing efforts, it's time to use a little of my powers for evil. Muahaha.
> 
> Despite the ominous tone of the first chapter, I promise there will not be anything too dark in this series. That's a "hell no" to rape, death or anything Adam seems like he'd do around Blake. Expect lots of embarrassment, humiliation and very distressed, very naked Beacon students. Oh, and I'll be putting in plenty of my trademark snark and dry humor. If you're the type that can't enjoy your favorite characters getting run through the wringer, I don't recommend this story to you. If you like schadenfreude and ENF/M, you'll be right at home.
> 
> As usual, all characters are over the age of 18. I'm very interested to hear how to improve my writing, so feel free to comment and criticize. Enjoy!

Roman Torchwick eyed the weapons pointed at him, dropped his suitcase full of cash, and gave a world-weary sigh.

“This song and dance again?” he asked. “You and your gang sure love the tried and true tales, Red. This time, though, I promise there’s no happy ending.”

Team RWBY had cornered him in an alley just after he’d escaped from his latest heist. It had been a stroke of pure luck; Ruby had only noticed the smooth criminal walking out of Vale’s bank when he’d tipped his hat at her. It had taken roughly ten milliseconds for the rest of the team to fall in and chase him down.

“You can talk about song and dance all you want, Roman, but the jig is up! You’re coming with us!” Ruby declared, pointing Crescent Rose’s barrel right between his eyes.

“...Seriously, Ruby, leave the puns to me,” Yang said. She primed her own weapons with a healthy punch of the arms and bounce of her chest.

“Is that how you think this is gonna go?” Roman said, cocking his only visible eyebrow. “The dashing heroines catch the ne’er do well, throw him in jail for a week, and everyone learns a valuable life lesson?”

“He’s stalling,” Blake hissed.

“Right as usual, kitty cat. Your boss should treat you to a better collar.”

The four girls drew back as a section of the brick wall behind Roman shattered into a thousand pieces. A moment later an open door had taken its place, complete with a familiar two-toned waif of a woman standing in the frame. She greeted them with a deep bow and a manic smile.

“Is that supposed to impress us?” Weiss sniffed. “I’ve seen better tricks at a clown college.”

“No one’s asking about your alma mater, princess.” Roman leaned against the brick wall and pulled a fresh cigar from his suit coat. He took his time lighting it, savoring every puff. He’d missed the smooth spice of a well-rolled Vacuan.

The cigar's smoke was acrid and made her eyes water. Despite her best efforts, Ruby wrinkled her nose and coughed. “Smoking is bad for you.”

“It’s how I deal with brats trying to hustle an honest businessman,” Roman shrugged.

Yang let out a short bark of laughter. “You couldn’t go straight with a ruler!”

The waif in the door threw back her head and clapped her hands twice. Roman took a puff on his cigar and shot Yang a glare. “Great,” he said. “You made Neo laugh. I’ll be hearing that joke for weeks.”

Team RWBY took a moment to share looks of confusion. Then they raised their weapons. It was important to follow the tried and true protocol: react to weird stuff, _then_ fight. Anything else totally messed up the flow of battle.

Neo eagerly pulled a parasol out of thin air, but Roman stopped her cold with a wave of his hand. “Hey! Easy! I didn’t steal this from anyone!”

“Fat chance!” Ruby said. “You walked right out of the bank with that suitcase of stuffed full of money! It’s sticking out everywhere!”

“All right, I didn’t quite pick the right tool for the job,” Roman admitted. “But this is a real, authentic loan, girls. I’ve got all the paperwork right here.”

He drew out a stack of papers with a flourish, presenting it to Weiss, the only one in the group that might be able to make sense of it all. She gingerly shifted her grip on Myrtenaster’s pommel, wary for a surprise attack. When none came, she took ahold of the papers in both hands and flipped through it.

“It looks legitimate...” Weiss said, suspicion dripping from her every syllable. “The questions are, who would give _you_ a loan, and what for?”

“I told you, princess. I’m a legitimate businessman now as far as the public’s concerned.” He flicked a stub of ash at Weiss’s boot, bringing a sneer to her lips. “Turns out the government’s willing to pay through the nose to get the local economy up and running again after all those Grimm sacked the place.”

“Because you blew up a train of explosives!” Blake spat.

“Time served, good behavior, mea culpa, et cetera,” Roman drawled, puffing on his cigar. “Now it’s time for me to move on and repay my debt to society.”

“By cheating people out of their money?”

“By cheating people out of their money _legally._ ” Roman threw up his arms and grinned. “I’m opening the classiest casino this two-bit joint’s ever seen!”

“Oh my God.” Weiss gaped in disbelief and looked to the waif in the door. “Tell me he’s kidding.”

Neo shook her head.

Yang suddenly dropped her stance. She paused a moment before poking Ruby in the arm. “So… we don’t really _have_ to bring him in, do we?”

Blake shot her partner a look that could cut steel. “Yang, if you say one word about gambling, hookers or booze I will smother you in your sleep.”

“...So exotic dancing’s still on the table?”

Two more sharp claps echoed through the alleyway.

“YANG!” Ruby shouted. “Stop embarrassing us and just punch him!”

“She might actually be right, Ruby,” Weiss said through clenched teeth. “We can’t arrest him if he hasn’t broken any laws.”

“That’s two of you with brains,” Roman said. He doffed his hat and swept it low in a bow. “Well, then. I’ll just be taking my hard-bargained money and be going now.”

Ruby knew she had to do something to stop Roman. He was up to something evil and nefarious, and she was probably one of the the only people who could do anything about it… only right now, she wasn’t even that.

“I’ll stop you, Torchwick!” she said, followed by a nod from Blake. “I’ll tell everyone how you’re a cheat and how they’re all gonna lose all their money! You’ll see!”

Roman sighed another weary sigh, the kind reserved for meddling heroes and their comic-relief pets. “That would be an _exceptionally_ bad idea, Red. Need I repeat myself? This story doesn’t have a happy ending. Sure, it might be funny. But you definitely won’t be having fun.”

Neo took her cue and strode out the door frame and into the welcoming embrace of Team RWBY’s weapons. Completely unfazed, she put on a prize-winning smile. Then she slipped into something more comfortable.

A line of shimmering light ran up the length of Neo’s body, transforming her from an elegant if eccentric socialite to a prim and proper heiress. Weiss, flabbergasted, stared at what would have been a perfect body double if not for the waif’s signature smirk.

“Call off your changeling, Roman, or I’ll put you both in your place!” Weiss snapped. How dare she steal her face? Not only that, she’d totally made the scar over her eye rougher and longer than it actually was.

“Sorry, princess.” Roman watched idly as “Weiss” fanned her skirts out in a curtsy. “Sometimes she takes suggestions, but mostly, Neo does what she wants.”

Weiss eyed her doppelganger with disdain. This tart had no idea how to be a proper lady. Her curtsy was going on for far too long, and she lifting her skirts far too high. It was almost as if she was...

“Hey! Release my skirt this instant!” Weiss demanded. When “her” hemline kept rising, she angrily thrust Myrtenaster’s point at her clone’s chest. Neo dodged with the grace of a ballerina, spinning just fast enough for her skirt to fly up to her waist, baring a pair of scandalously brief panties. The white lace wove together intricately over her thighs and mound… and nowhere else. Her doppelganger’s svelte, pale butt was being shown off in a way that a Schnee heiress would never be permitted to do.

“Stop that this instant! If you’re going to steal my body, at least steal my damned _shorts,_ too!” Weiss took stab after stab at Neo, but none of her hits found their mark. Yang bit her fist to keep from laughing; nothing like a bit of schadenfreude to take the sting away from her own loss to the same woman years ago.

“We should help Weiss,” Blake said. “This has to be illegal somehow.”

Without warning, “Weiss” vanished. In her place stood Blake- only instead of her combat gear, she was wearing a fuzzy gray catsuit with matching fuzzy paws on her hands. That would have been bad enough on its own, but Blake went rigid with anger when she saw that Neo had taken off her bow. Her doppelganger had very soft, very twitchy, and very real cat ears on the top of her head.

“This is extortion,” she whispered. “You monster...”

“She might be a bit unstable, but she’s hardly a monster,” Roman chimed in. “Besides, aren’t you the one that’s half animal?”

“A racist _and_ extortionist,” Blake seethed. “Typical.”

Yang gripped Blake’s shoulder in reassurance. With Weiss, it had been funny. Now, that featherweight faker had crossed a line. “Hey, string bean! Pick on someone your own size!”

“Blake” winked and disappeared. Yang prepared herself for her own full frontal. After all, she showed off plenty of skin at the club anyway. What was a cheap copy going to do that she couldn’t?

As expected, “Yang” popped in wearing nothing but a yellow bikini. She struck a few racy poses while the real deal yawned. “What, you want me to cheer or something?” Yang asked. “Come on, get it over with and strip already. Or better yet, go shove that umbrella up your ass.”

That familiar smile worked its way across “Yang’s” face as she reached for the straps of her bikini top. Yang wondered what the big deal was. It was just boobs. Everyone here had a pair of those. Even Roman, the only man in the alley, seemed bored.

“Yang’s” bikini top fell open and two gigantic gel inserts plopped into her hands. Yang’s clone was almost as flat as a board, without even enough boob to bounce.

“You fucking bitch! I’ll kill you!” Yang catapulted herself forward with a fiery blast from Ember Celica and slammed her fist into that smug mug, but her punch hit nothing but fragile crystal. The illusion fell to a thousand tiny pieces around her, leaving Neo nowhere to be found.

Hot air whipped around Yang in a whirlwind of wasted Aura. Desperate for something to hit, Yang seized Roman by the collar. “Where is she?! The next time she shows her face I’ll smash it to as many pieces as that fake shit!”

“You’re asking _me?_ ” Roman laughed. “Listen, hair-trigger, that’s now how our relationship works. She doesn’t hang around. More like she bounces from place to place and comes home to roost if she thinks it’s important... or if she wants to have a little fun with people.” Roman looked Yang dead in the eye. “You might want to watch out when she’s happy. You won’t like her when she’s happy.”

Yang released him with a shove. “Fuck you.”

“Not on your best day.” Roman picked up his briefcase and stepped into the open doorway. “Now are we done here, or are we going to argue about how much lien I’m allowed to make?”

The whole time, Ruby had done nothing but stare as her teammates had been humiliated. She’d felt powerless and confused at what was going on, and dreaded seeing Neo’s semblance used against her. What if she dressed “Ruby” up like Weiss and flashed everyone at Beacon? What if she made her run through town naked? There was literally nothing she could do about it, and it made her want to scream.

“You’re both so _mean_ ,” Ruby murmured.

“Neo and I are _mean?_ Is that supposed to hurt my feelings?” Roman whipped Melodic Cudgel’s tip up and pointed at the end of the alley. “Everyone in this city’s got a mean streak, Red, even you. Some people’s go longer than others, but deep down everybody loves hurting somebody.” As he spoke, the tip of Roman’s cane drifted from Weiss, to Blake, to Yang. “Take it to heart. The world doesn’t give a damn about you or me, and neither do people like Neo.

“Remember, Red. There’s no happy ending to this story.”

Roman slammed the door, leaving a shocked Ruby behind.

Yang slammed her fist against the door. “Asshole.”

“He’s wrong,” Ruby said quietly.

“Hm?” Weiss was still seething from seeing herself tramped around like a strumpet. She glanced at Ruby, unsure of what she meant. “What was that?”

“There’s always a happy ending if you look in the right place,” Ruby said. “Roman was wrong.”

“I’m sure _he_ doesn’t deserve one,” Blake said. “Come on. Let’s go find some junior detectives to bust him for racketeering or something.”

“Yeah...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you, didn't I? =p
> 
> Roman might have been a bit heavy-handed with the doom and gloom, but I really wanted to drive home the point that this is NOT a happy story like "Cheesecake." Sexuality is going to be an embarrassing thing in this story, and it's going to cause a lot of awkwardness. Don't expect the characters to be happy at the end of their chapters. That's all!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is set in an alternate universe where the climax of Volume 3 did not happen, and everything continued as normal for the next few years. As usual, all characters are over the age of 18.

A new scourge stalked the halls of Beacon.

Ruby couldn’t fight it head-on; the beast was too smart for that. The threat was invisible. Silent. Deadly. Kind of like a fart, but way less funny. It had taken all of Ruby’s awesome powers of concentration and near-Weiss levels of smartness, but she finally had a way to fight back against the gross sniffly evil.

Ruby kicked open the door to her team’s dorm room, startling Blake off her bed and sending her crashing to the floor. Ruby smiled in satisfaction. Blake’s reflexes were still sharp!

She dropped the box with a _thud_ and proclaimed the news to her three assembled minions. “Team RWBY, I bring good tidings! And a cardboard box!”

Blake, nerves shot and face-down on the floor, grumbled tiredly. “If this is another cat joke, I’m quitting the team.”

“Nope! No cat jokes!” Ruby said. “But you can have the box when we’re done if you want.”

“I refuse to dignify that with an answer.”

Yang snickered as she combed her unkempt tresses of golden hair. “No need to, Blakey. You’re in the negatives on dignity anyway. Aren’t cats supposed to land on their feet?”

“You could start licking yourself,” Weiss added from behind a pile of textbooks. “Our team has always done its best to stoop to new lows. You’re just a few licks away from setting a record.”

“Hate you,” Blake groaned. “Hate you all.”

“I said no cat jokes!” Ruby stomped her foot. “Besides! We have better things to do than make fun of where Blake puts her tongue! We have a new enemy to vanquishify!”

“Is it your ‘word of the day’ calendar?” Weiss asked. “Honestly, sometimes I regret giving it to you. Abuse is illegal.”

“Very funny, Weiss,” Ruby said. “Very funny indeed. But how can you spend time making fun of my… uh... _wordiness_ when we’re all in terrible danger of being stuck in bed, unable to even lift a finger to fight the forces of Grimm?!”

Team RWBY looked at their leader like she’d lost her mind. It was the third time that week. Yang, the best at seeing through her sister’s crazed ramblings, snapped her fingers in recognition. “Are you talking about how everyone’s getting the sniffles?”

“ **THE COMMON COLD IS UPON US!** ” Ruby shouted. “It’s already struck Team JNPR! Poor Jaune was blowing his nose all through math class! Nora’s sneezing and Ren’s wheezing! They can’t fight at their best! It’s terrible! We have to prepare our defenses!”

Ruby’s accusing finger darted between her teammates. “Weiss! Your bare legs are wide open for chilliness under that combat skirt! Blake! Your belly button is totally bare in that outfit! And Yang… uh...” Ruby paused, her finger pointing up and down her sister’s body. “Can you put your boobs away?”

“Oh, you did _not_ just go there.” Yang indignantly put a hand over her bursting cleavage. She was rightly proud of her battle gear; it brought out all her best (and biggest) features. “Careful when you tell me to cover up, sis. You’re in danger of sounding like dad.”

“Well, too bad! I’m going _full_ dad on your naked butt!” With that, Ruby upended the box she’d carried in and dumped its contents all over the floor. Linens and wool spilled out, all color-coded. A few white items for Weiss, some black for Blake, and a whole lot of yellow for the least-clothed member of their team.

“We’re all got to be warm and snuggly to fight the common cold!” Ruby declared. She reached into the pile and pulled out a pair of thick white leggings. They wouldn’t have been so bad if they hadn’t had bright blue snowflakes and reindeer up and down the legs like a Christmas reject. “Weiss, you’re wearing these now.”

“Excuse me?! When did I give you permission to decide my wardrobe?” Weiss held the leggings at arm’s length and stuck her tongue out in revulsion.

Ruby ignored Weiss’s protests, tossed the leggings at her and moved on to the next item in the pile: a bulky black sweater. “Blake! Your tummy needs to be warm and snuggly! It’s dangerous to have it cold. Take this.”

Blake turned her nose up. “It’s tacky.”

“It’s _healthy_. Now c’mere!”

“What are you-”

Before Blake could even finish her sentence, Ruby had shoved the sweater over her head and tugged it down her body. Blake seethed at the invasion of her personal space, but she was positively livid when she looked down to see what was on the sweater’s front: a gigantic felt stitching of a sleeping gray kitty cat.

It was childish. It was degrading. It was tacky in the extreme.  And somehow, the fact that it could potentially out her best kept secret was that it made Yang laugh like a hyena. “You look like a dress-up doll!” Yang gasped in between giggles, barely able to contain herself. Blake stayed silent, but her eyes promised bloody retribution on both sisters.

It took a minute for Yang to cool off, but she couldn’t laugh at Blake forever. “All right, Ruby,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye. “Maybe you’ve got something here. Maybe we _should_ make Blake wear that sweater and Weiss put on those silly leggings.”

“Absolutely not,” Weiss huffed. Blake scowled in agreement.

“I’m glad you see it my way, my dearest dear sister,” Ruby said. “Now all that’s left is _your_ new outfit!”

Ruby unfurled a pair of the worst clothes imaginable: bright pink sweat pants, complete with a heart on the butt and heart-shaped ties on its drawstrings. A matching sweatshirt hoodie followed it, this time with “Best Sister Ever!” in giant yellow letters on the back. It was Blake’s turn to laugh.

Yang pulled back in horror. “Uh, wait. Can I just, uh, try them on later? Like, never?”

Ruby cocked an eyebrow at her sister’s obvious reluctance. “Yang Xiao Long, are you trying to trying to weasel your way out of proper health and hygiene? It _is_ my responsibility as team leader to make sure each and every one of you is in tip-top fighting shape.”

“Yeah, but this is kinda dumb,” Yang said. “You don’t get to decide what we wear. Especially if it’s _this_.”

“Also, I’m fairly certain you have the wrong idea on how the common cold is transmitted,” Weiss chimed in.

“Where’s _your_ stupid outfit?” Blake asked, sinking into into her sweater like a turtle. She still hadn’t put her arms through the sleeves.

“ _I_ don’t need one,” Ruby smirked. “I’m perfectly covered up. My combat skirt is perfect.”

“I knew it. Of course you’re going to spare yourself this travesty of fashion,” Weiss said. “Ruby, you are stunningly uninformed about the body’s ability to regulate its own temperature. All of us are used to showing this amount of skin, even Yang. You simply don’t understand what it’s like to walk the line between tasteful and tantalizing.”

Yang grabbed “her” sweatpants and chucked them at Ruby’s head. “What she said!”

Ruby let out an _eep_ and ducked under the pants projectile, where it soared over her and smacked Weiss instead. She winced at Weiss’s shriek of indignation, but it was her duty as team leader to stand firm. “I’m not gonna let my team get sick! You all are gonna wear those to outdoor sparring tomorrow, or I’m gonna ask Professor Port to take us on one of his extra-long hunting trips!”

The three girls shuddered. None of them felt like listening to days of Port prattle on about his obviously embellished exploits, or wrestle gigantic Grimm into cages instead of killing them like they should. Not only that, they wouldn’t even be able to go swimming or relax in any hot springs. No one wanted to suffer through seeing the Professor in his infamous “Slayer’s Speedo.”

“I didn’t know you had it in you, Rubes,” Yang said. She picked up the pink “Best Sister” hoodie with a growl fierce enough to send Zwei scampering beneath the bed. “You’re probably gonna be the next Ozpin or something.”

“Thanks, Yang!” Ruby beamed.

“That wasn’t a compliment,” Blake muttered.

“It sure sounded like one~” Ruby said, skipping her way out of the dorm room. Mission accomplished! She’d done protected her team from horrible disease and debilitating debilitation. She’d had to twist a few arms, but it was for the greater good.

The rest of Team RWBY watched her go in a mix of dread and disbelief. Ruby’s plans had always been harebrained and a bit silly, but they always seemed to work out in the end. This, however, was something else. Something horrible, terrible and embarrassing beyond belief. This atrocity could not stand.

“This atrocity cannot stand,” Weiss declared. She paused. “Did anyone just get a sense of déjà vu?”

“Nuh-uh,” Yang grinned. “Just déjà you.”

“Yang, please. This is serious,” Weiss said. “Leave the puns outside with what’s going to be left of your reputation if you wear that ridiculous thing.”

“Owch. Fine.” Yang stared at the horrendous pink hoodie-sweatpants combination in front of her. If she wore that, she’d be a laughingstock. Not only that, but it’d make her look ten pounds heavier. She did _not_ need her outfit’s help there.

“So... what do we do?” Blake asked, still huddled in her sweater. She could take it off, but it was kind of warm and snuggly. The material might have been Angora, too… but she’d never admit to liking any bit of it.

“I don’t know,” Weiss said. “If we could just convince her that we don’t need any of this nonsense, then she might take it back.” She gave an exasperated sigh. “‘Cold causes colds.’ Ugh! Only Ruby would think that.”

Yang tilted her head back in thought. “Well, we could come up with some elaborate plan where we teach her the value of trust, teamwork and cleavage windows… _or_ we could just solve our ‘team leader’ problems the old-fashioned way.”

“And how’s that?”

“We prank her so epically that she gives in and lets us do whatever we want.” Yang smashed her fists together and smiled gleefully. “It worked for my dad’s team, it’ll work for ours.”

Blake stared at Yang blankly. “...Your dad’s team had a raging alcoholic and a man that mails corgis in cardboard tubes.”

“And they’re both _awesome_.”

“Rrrrright.” Blake could see this wasn’t going anywhere. She turned to Weiss for help. “Weiss? Tell me you have a better idea.”

Weiss stood facing the window, straight-backed and rigid. She had to deal with this problem with utmost efficiency and ruthlessness. If Ruby got it in her head that she could humiliate Weiss Schnee on a crazy whim, then that would be the end of her both here and at Atlas.

“Humiliating Ruby the same way she’s humiliating us?” Weiss pondered aloud. “It’s juvenile. It’s diabolical. It’s wicked. It’s the most evil form of turnabout there is.” She turned around sporting a predator’s smile from ear to ear, full of sharp teeth and sharper intentions. “It’s _perfect_.”

“Yes!” Yang pumped her fist in the air. It’d been _way_ too long since she’d gotten her prank game on. How would she handle things this time? The good ol’ ice bucket and door trick to leave her sister sopping wet and shivering? A shampoo bottle full of neon blue dye? A snare trap to leave Ruby dangling and helpless, struggling to keep her skirts from flipping up? She thought and thought, her mind racing through years of mischief.

“She was so proud of how her combat outfit keeps her covered,” Weiss said, focusing on the issue at hand. “If we can use that against her, she just might get the message.”

“Oh, I like the way you think, ice queen,” Yang said. “I’ve got some sweat-activated itching powder we can use just before her fight tomorrow…”

“ _Excellent_ ,” Weiss said, her smile widening even further.

“Wait,” Blake interjected, hesitant about where this was going. “Your plan is to sabotage our team leader’s clothes right before a sparring match? And there’s nothing that could go wrong with this?”

Weiss shook her head and pointed at Blake’s sweater. “Tell me how much you like the idea of wearing that kitty-cat abomination to class all winter.”

“...Fine. But don’t expect me to help.”

Weiss didn’t care. As if they needed her help. Ruby was going to play dirty to get what she wanted? Well, she was about to learn how dirty a Schnee could be.

 

* * *

 

Stares, whispers and muffled giggling followed Team RWBY all the way to the sparring ring. Today was not a good day for three of them; their ridiculous outfits all made sure of that. If the pranksters had their way, though, at least they’d bring that number up to four.

The night before, Weiss and Yang had raided Ruby’s dresser drawers and sprinkled itching powder inside her lucky tights. According to Yang, it would only start acting up once Ruby really got her legs moving- perfect for going off in the middle of a fight. Everything was set for a pranking Ruby would never see coming- or ever forget.

Weiss watched eagerly as Ruby took her place in the sparring ring. She was facing Jaune, who’d ordinarily be a pushover at best. Today, he was struggling to be even that. He stepped into the ring and immediately started sneezing. He even wiped his nose on his sleeve! How uncouth. From the looks of things, the rest of team JNPR had already recovered from their colds. Either that, or they were better at hiding it.

Ruby looked Jaune up and down with concern. She’d have to go easy on him. Well, even easier than normal. If he was really sick, she didn’t want to push him. She scratched an itch on her leg that had been building for a few minutes. Stupid bug bites. What kind of bugs bit people in November, anyway?

“The next match is Ruby Rose against Jaune Arc,” called Professor Goodwitch from beside the ring. Her voice was tired from the routine- this had to have been the fifth fight of the day, and fiftieth of the week. She was only there to provide instruction and suggestions for improvement after the fight. “The fight will proceed until either one of the combatant’s auras has dropped to fifty percent strength, after which there will be a debriefing and combat consultancy session. No outside help is permitted short of medical emergency. Combatants, are you ready?”

Jaune sniffled and wiped his nose messily on his sleeve. “Yeah. I should be good…” He sneezed again. “Wait, can I get an aura check?”

Professor Goodwitch pulled out her scroll and shook her head disapprovingly. “Mister Arc, you should take better care of yourself. Your aura is currently at sixty percent strength to Ruby’s ninety-eight.”

“Uh…” Yang said, suddenly worried. “What if the fight’s over before Ruby, you know…”

“Curses,” Weiss swore. “I’ll have to do something drastic.”

“Drastic?”

“Hey _Jauuuune!_ ” Weiss called in a singsong voice. “You’re looking _amazing_ today. Have you been working out?”

Jaune perked up at the completely unexpected compliment. True to form, he sputtered out the first thing that came to mind. “Uh… yes? Every day of the week? Ever since I came to Beacon?”

Weiss stuffed her words with as much fawning adoration as she could stomach. “Can you spot me later? I need a _little_ help on the bench…”

“S-sure!” Jaune said. He sniffled a little, but he smiled and squared his broad shoulders like a champ. He had to look good in front of Weiss. Or at least competent.

“Correction: your aura is now at seventy-five percent.” Professor Goodwitch gave a long-suffering sigh, then disappeared. Before anyone could tell what was going on, she had snapped her riding crop mere inches from the spot Weiss was seated. “Miss Schnee! Need I remind you that outside help is forbidden?”

“Sorry!” Weiss said quickly. She glanced at Pyrrha, who was staring at her in utter confusion. Well, she never was good at mind games anyway.

Goodwitch lowered her voice. “I’ll have to discipline you if it happens again. Cheering is fine. Blatant aura tampering is not.”

“I was that obvious?” Weiss said, just a little bit embarrassed.

“Don’t forget I was your age once, too.” With that, Professor Goodwitch stepped back up to the ring. “Begin!”

Ruby didn’t know what to make of Weiss’ sudden interest in Jaune, but that didn’t matter. All she had to do was show everyone the new moves she’d been practicing. She was getting quicker with Crescent Rose, too- she could swing hard enough to flutter her skirt around her like a real action hero!

She darted at Jaune diagonally to set up the perfect arc for Crescent Rose’s sweep. He raised his shield to block, but Rosie was smarter than that. Ruby’s trusty scythe faked high and swung low, knocking poor, sick Jaune off his feet. She wheeled, ready to strike again, and… and...

And those darn bug bites were driving her crazy!

Ruby took a hand off Rosie and scratched the spot on her leg that just wouldn’t stop itching. But then another spot came up. And another, and another. Ruby gave her audience nervous smile. There wasn’t anyone here but RWBY, JNPR and Goodwitch, but she still had to look cool. Itching: definitely not something cool people did.

“Miss Rose, is everything all right? Your aura seems to be-”

“I’m fine!” Ruby shouted while trying to hide the fact that she’d stuffed a hand up her skirt to scratch a sudden itching on her thighs. “Everything’s fine!”

Jaune, meanwhile, had gotten to his feet. Barely. He raised his sword in a defensive stance that quickly evaporated as he wiped his nose. Ruby had to end this fast and figure out what was happening inside her tights. _Sorry, Jaune!_ She tapped her Semblance, lunged at her staggered opponent, wound up to swing Rosie in a deadly arc, and promptly collapsed on the ground in an itchy heap.

“Ohhhhhh! Itch! Itch! Itch!” She scratched every inch of her legs, but that only made it worse. It was horrible! Her worst nightmare was coming true: she was being eaten alive by her pants!

Jaune was torn between relief and concern. “Uh… Ruby, are you- Ah-choo!”

Professor Goodwitch peered at her scroll. Without taking a single hit, Ruby had gone down to 70% herself, with Jaune at 65%. It was almost a dead even fight. “Miss Rose, are you sure everything is normal?”

“Time out!” Ruby shouted. “I gotta use the bathroom!”

Professor Goodwitch gaped. “There are no ‘time outs’ in a fight!”

The objection came far too late to matter; Ruby had already zoomed out of the arena at top speed and thrown herself into the locker rooms. She dropped Crescent Rose to the ground (with a rushed apology) and tugged her “lucky” black tights down to her boots as quickly as she could. The itching fell away with her linens, though it still drove her feet crazy. Still half-panicked, Ruby tore off her boots and finally rid herself of her flesh-eating nightmare tights.

It didn’t look like she had bugs in her tights, but she didn’t have time to check. She flung them inside the nearest open locker, laced up her boots lightning-fast, grabbed Crescent Rose, tapped her Semblance in preparation to zoom back onto the battlefield, and… stopped herself just before she made a horrible mistake.

The strange sensation of cool air washing over her legs, and her sockless feet pressed against the insides her boots, reminded her of exactly what she’d just done. She’d gone and taken off her lucky tights: the magic little bundle of linen that let her bob and weave without having to worry about showing everyone her unmentionables.

This was really really bad. Not just regular bad. This was even worse than “Weiss won’t talk to me and I don’t know why” levels of bad. It was more like “Ruby is about to show everyone her underwear” bad, which was so bad she didn’t even have a word for it.

“Miss Rose!” Professor Goodwitch’s shouting was muffled, but to Ruby’s ears it could cut through diamond. “If you are not back inside the ring in ten seconds, this will be counted as a forfeit on your team’s record!”

Ten seconds?! That was barely enough to get out the door! Ruby whimpered and held her skirt in one hand, clutching Crescent Rose in the other. She had to use her Semblance to get back in time- but her skirt would be flying everywhere! They’d see everything! Even worse, she’d be doing it in front of _boys!_ Even worse worse, _Jaune!_

“Five!”

But if she stayed, she’d give her team a loss. Worse, a _forfeit!_ They’d hate her for it!

“Three!”

Ruby whimpered. If she was gonna go, she had to go _now_. She scrunched up her face, tucked Crescent Rose in the small of her back, and wound up her Semblance.

“One!”

Ruby exploded out of the locker room in a whirlwind of rose petals, streaking across the field and covering the distance lickety-split. She crash-landed on the hard tile of the sparring ring, but she’d made sure to wrap her cape tight around her legs before she did. All RWBY and JNPR could see was her on her knees, wrapped in a pile of red and black. She was safe… for now.

“I will disregard that highly unprofessional lapse, Miss Rose, if you at least put in _some_ effort to finish this fight.” Professor Goodwitch said crossly. “No more time-outs.”

“Y-yes!” Ruby squeaked and shuffled to her feet. Her cloak unraveled as she did, unveiling the pale white of her bare legs. It was sometimes harder to tell who on Team RWBY took the crown for the palest skin: Weiss with her flawless complexion of new-fallen snow, or Ruby’s own shade of white lily.

“Uh…” Jaune scratched his head with his sword hand (a terrible habit). He wasn’t sure whether he should comment on Ruby’s lack of pants. Maybe she’d copied Weiss and Pyrrha’s styles and switched to compression shorts instead of tights?

“She wasn’t kidding about the bathroom,” Nora giggled. “Oh! I got one! Hey Jaune, you must’a scared the crap out of her! Ha!”

“Nora, that’s crude!” Pyrrha admonished, but she still covered her smile with a hand.

Weiss and Yang, meanwhile, were trying even harder to hide their own grins. It was finally payback time for making them walk around in the ridiculous outfits. Seeing Ruby keep a hand glued to the front of her skirt and shuffle her feet was like munching on _hors_ _d'oeuvres_ for the soul. After all, what dish was sweeter than revenge?

“So… are you, uh, good to fight?” Jaune asked. He kept glancing down at Ruby’s legs. Every time he did, Ruby’s cheeks reddened just a little more.

“Y-yes! Fighting! Fighting is good!” Ruby pulled Crescent Rose out, drawing her strength from the cold metal. She could do this. She just couldn’t make any sudden movements, that’s all. Nothing quick or flashy, or anything that would make her skirt blow up. And _definitely_ no kicking. Kicking would be bad. Very bad.

Jaune raised his sword and shield, waiting for Ruby’s charge that never came. He peered over his shield and sniffled. What was she doing? The answer came in the form of rapid sniper fire. Bullets rained down on him one after the other, but he deflected them with practiced ease. Even with a cold, Jaune knew how to hold his own. He advanced on Ruby step by step, readying his own lunging strike.

Ruby’s heart pounded as she fired at Jaune. The recoil made her skirt flutter just enough to make her nervous. Not only that, but every little gust of wind in the arena teased her hem higher, showing off hints of bare thigh. She was playing with fire, and not in the fun way with Dust. Plus Jaune was gaining on her, and she could only jump back a few inches at a time. She had to do something fast. _Think, Ruby!_ She told herself. _Think!_

Without warning, Ruby felt something fall away from her hips. When she reached for a bullet and felt nothing but her dress, she knew something was terribly wrong. She looked down to see that her silver bandolier had come undone, its clasp hopelessly bent out of shape. There was no way it was going to get fastened again without some serious work.

“Aaaah…” Ruby tried to reach for her ammunition, but Jaune had caught up with her. She skittered backwards, hand glued to her skirt, Crescent Rose wobbling unsteadily. “W-wait! Jaune! I’m not ready! T-time o-”

“If you say those words again, Miss Rose, you’ll be seeing me after class!” Goodwitch snapped.

Ruby whined pitifully and stumbled backwards. Rosie needed both her hands right then, but she only had one. Her skirt fluttered dangerously as a gust of wind blew right between her legs, threatening to expose everything. Jaune swung hard, but he sneezed at just the wrong moment and whiffed.

“This is the worst fight ever,” Nora groaned.

 _This is the best fight ever,_ Weiss snickered inwardly.

Every instinct Ruby had told her to dart around the slower Jaune, but she couldn’t get her legs to move. She summoned up just enough courage to take her hand away from her skirts and gave a half-hearted swing, but Jaune could have knocked it back with a sneeze if he’d had to. She slammed her hands down on her skirt in near-panic. Every second she spent fighting was a second the wind might pick up, or Jaune could knock her on her butt, or a Grimm could come bursting out of a hole, or...

Or that awful, awful itching could come back.

 _“Nooooooo_ …” Ruby moaned, rubbing her crotch through her skirt. The burning sensation was back, and it was right over her privates. “Bad itch!”

“Jaune, this fight is boring!” Nora shouted. “Finish Ruby right now or I’m gonna go find some coffee, and nobody wants that!”

The threat worked. Jaune sprang into action, stabbing his sword through Ruby’s cape and pinning her in place. Ruby struggled to tear the cape free from the sword, wishing for a cape safety release, or something, anything! All the while, that burning itch just got worse and worse. She gave one giant yank on her cloak, desperately trying to escape. Finally, in a horrendous ripping of fabric, it tore away, sending poor Ruby stumbling backwards. She didn’t even have time to regret it before her head slammed into the ground.

Ruby lay dazed and confused on the floor of the arena, legs spread wide open, skirt bunched up around her waist. Both teams had a completely clear view at Ruby’s panties. They were a dull white and high-cut, but the boring, conservative style wasn’t what made everyone stare.

Ruby’s panties were decorated with cartoon cookies. Chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, peanut butter, sugar cookies of all colors. There were full cookies, half-eaten cookies, and even a smattering of crumbs and sparkly sprinkles around the edges.

“Oh, my,” Ren said. Nora whistled. Pyrrha blushed in sympathy. Yang laughed like the big sister she was. Weiss broke down into a fit of coughing to hide her own giggle fit. Jaune immediately spun around and tried to count the number of tiles in the arena.

Ruby was dragged back to reality by the intense itching over her privates, but that was nothing compared to the aching in her head. She shook herself back to her senses and looked up to see Jaune looking anywhere but at her.

With a growing sense of dread, Ruby looked down at herself. There was no way she’d gone and shown everyone her unmentionables. She just didn’t do that. She was a huntress. Everyone knew huntresses never showed off anything they didn’t want to, no matter how much they jumped around.

“Nice undies, sugar!” Nora hooted.

Ruby stared dumbly at her panties that were decorated with more sweets than a bakery. “Ah… I…” A moment later, the realization hit her harder than an overenthusiastic Penny hug. With a cry of utter humiliation, she clutched at her skirts and pulled them down as far as she could. She could try and hide her shame, but the secret was out. Ruby Rose wore _exactly_ what you’d expect her to, right down to her underoos.

As usual, it fell to Professor Goodwitch to stop the madness. “This fight is over!” she shouted. “Ruby Rose has dropped to fifty percent aura strength. That, and this display has to be put out of its misery. For all our sakes.”

Ruby hurried off the battleground to disappear into her team’s huddle, head bowed and dearly wishing she was somewhere else. Jaune sneezed for the thousandth time and rejoined JNPR at the side of the ring.

“ _Weiss…_ ” Ruby whined as she danced back and forth on her feet. “There’s something itching in my pants. Is it bugs or lice or am I gonna die of something _other than embarrassment?_ ”

Yang had made sure not to look her sister in the eye, otherwise she’d burst out laughing. Weiss kept a cooler head, and Blake was the only one who seemed concerned for Ruby. Still, she kept silent and let Weiss do the talking.

“It’s probably some leftover detergent from the wash,” Weiss said. “You should take them off, or else you’ll get a rash.”

“A rash?!” Ruby said. “But… I can’t take off my… you know....”

Weiss just held out her hand and beckoned. Ruby was sweating bullets. She had to do _something_ , but… taking off her undies in public? Even if no one was watching but her team, it was still so risky. Plus, she’d be totally naked under her skirt and that was just a no-no on so many levels. She’d catch a cold!

“Hurry up, Ruby,” Weiss said. “Debriefing’s starting soon.”

Ruby wasn’t sure what would eat her alive faster: the itch in her panties, or Professor Goodwitch. She scrunched up her eyes, stuck her hands up the sides her skirt, and whisked her panties down her legs as quick as she could. The itching went away, but so did her last line of protection from the cold autumn air. It was just so _chilly_ and _weird_ and it felt like everyone in the world knew she was practically half naked.  The constant rubbing against her sensitive areas to try and soothe her itches had also left her a bit jumpier than usual, adding to her growing list of “reasons today is the worst day ever.”

Ruby carefully stepped out of her panties (falling now would be literally the worst thing in the world) and handed them over to Weiss, who took out her purse and tucked them inside.

“I’ll get you a fresh pair before Goodwitch is done lecturing you,” Weiss lied.

“Oh, Weiss, _please_ hurry,” Ruby begged. She gripped her skirts in front and back so tight she was almost afraid of ripping them just like she’d ripped her cloak apart. She glanced at the doorway to the combat classroom. It was only thirty feet away, but that was a million miles in this breezy weather. “This is the worst day ever.”

Ruby nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Jaune sneeze a few feet behind her. She buried her chin in her chest, too embarrassed to even look at his face. “Uh… sorry about your cape out there, Ruby.” If anything, Jaune sounded almost as embarrassed as Ruby. “And about all the other stuff too.”

“I-it’s fine,” Ruby squeaked, wishing he would go away as soon as possible.

Another sneeze made Blake turn her nose up at him. Jaune gave her an apologetic look. “Hey, uh, sorry to ask this, but do any of you have some tissues, or a handkerchief or something? Nora blew through all of ours.”

“Honestly, Jaune. A gentleman should always be prepared,” Weiss said. “If it’ll stop your sneezing, you can borrow mine. Just make sure to wash it when you’re done. _Thoroughly._ ”

Jaune thanked her profusely, but an instant later everyone backed away as Jaune’s face scrunched up. “Hurreh,” he said, going cross-eyed. “Big one commin…”

Weiss leapt into action. Her hand plunged into her purse, pulled out her cloth kerchief, and thrust it into Jaune’s hands. He raised it to his nose- and Ruby saw that Weiss’s cotton “kerchief” was decorated with cookies. With her hands glued to her skirt, she was totally powerless to stop him.

“JAUNE NO!”

It was too late. Jaune sneezed all over her panties. With his eyes still closed, he wiped his nose all over Ruby’s delicates. She collapsed to the ground in a defeated heap, too overwhelmed to do anything but whine.

“Thanks,” Jaune said, still completely oblivious. He tucked Weiss’s “kerchief” into the back pocket of his jeans. “Man, I needed that. See you in debriefing, Ruby. Goodwitch is gonna tear me a new one...”

Weiss and Yang exchanged bewildered looks as Jaune headed for the door out of the arena. Neither of them had planned for _that_ to happen. Ruby’s brain, meanwhile, had completely overloaded. Jaune had just blown his load all over her panties and walked off with them like it was nothing. That idiot! How could he do something like that to a poor, innocent girl who’d never even shown her underthings to a boy, much less given them away?!

“Miss Rose!” Ruby was jolted out of her red-faced moping by Professor Goodwitch, who was pointing angrily at the classroom. “I trust you’ll have plenty to explain in the debriefing.”

“Uhghhh…” Ruby whined. “Weiss, save me...”

Weiss immediately saw her chance to make up for a prank gone horribly wrong. With a silver tongue and a little luck, she could probably pull Ruby’s bacon out of the fire. She patted Ruby on the head and nodded. “Please allow me to explain in Ruby’s place, Professor. You see, when Ruby disappeared from the field, she was experiencing a severe level of gastrointestinal distress...”

Ruby didn’t know what that meant, but she knew an opening when she saw one. It was time for her to take a very slow, very cautious route back to the locker rooms. Maybe she could see how long it would take to drain Beacon’s hot water… that sounded like a not-awful way to finish her awful day.

She just hoped the story wouldn’t spread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vote below on what to do for the next chapter... or kick me in the butt for taking so long on the next chapter of my feel-good series, lol.
> 
> http://www.strawpoll.me/11393660


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